Whether you call it betrayal, cheating, infidelity or something else doesn’t change the fact that it’s probably one of the most painful episodes you’ll ever go through. There are ways to deal with the pain of infidelity if you choose to forgive an affair. Right now, you may not even be able to describe how painful it is for you. Believe it or not, there advantages to forgiving someone who’s cheated on you, even though forgiveness might not seem to make much sense right now. You might be doing this because your feelings for him are still strong, but an even more important reason is that you’re doing it for yourself. It’s just as important to your own happiness and well-being that you be able to forgive your boyfriend and rebuild the relationship. Don’t misunderstand – forgiving infidelity is something you can do only once in a relationship. If this is a pattern, or if he repeats his bad behavior, you’ve got to toss him to the curb. If he seems remorseful and seeks your forgiveness, and wants to rebuild the relationship, then try the following steps:
Healing Infidelity Tip #1
The first step is this: sit down and have an honest talk with him about his infidelity. You’ve got to find out the real reason underlying his betrayal, which is why, no matter how hard it is to talk about, you’ve got to do it. Perhaps he thought that your feelings for him had cooled down, or maybe he just had a crisis of self-confidence. This is a time you should be openhearted and open-minded. Don’t use this serious conversation as an excuse to browbeat him or try to make him feel bad – that’s not how relationships are built or rebuilt. You’ll be able to judge the depth of his sincerity and remorse during this conversation, which is the other reason you can’t skip it.
Healing Infidelity Tip #2
The second step is to uncork your emotions. It’s time like this that you feel all sorts of emotions and feelings churning away inside you. Express your emotions, let them out, but don’t harm yourself in the process. Drugs and alcohol, for instance, are far more likely to harm you than let you deal with your emotions. There are plenty of ways to express your pain, though, that aren’t self-destructive. An excellent outlet is to write in a journal. Another approach is to adopt a regular workout routine. However, don’t store those emotions inside you – in the long run, it will harm your mental health. One way that many people have found successful is simply to have a good cry. One of the keys to healing infidelity is to heal yourself.
Healing Infidelity Tip #3
The third step is forgiveness. At this point, if you haven’t really forgiven him, there’s no point in being in a relationship with your boyfriend. It’s time to put the past behind you. You made your choice, now forgive him. Some idiot once said “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” While that’s doubtful, there’s no doubt that love confers the power to say “I forgive you.”
Healing Infidelity Tip #4
The fourth step is to spend some time with a psychologist or other mental health professional or advisor. Your relationship needs some professional help, and that means each of you should talk with a counselor. An alternative would be to sit down together with a trusted friend, someone who’s been through what you’re going through. You’ll need to pay attention to what he says, too. You’ll learn from it. Don’t waste your time, or your friend’s by pointing fingers or being judgmental. Neither of you can save the relationship on your own; you need to work together if it’s going to be saved.
Healing Infidelity Tip #5
The fifth and final step is to realize, deep in your heart, that this terrible thing happened, but it’s over now, and you’re ready to move on. The kind of pain caused by infidelity can be massive. It takes time to heal with both of you working on it. Betrayal’s pain doesn’t get healed overnight, so don’t expect that. It’s generally take you longer to heal, since you were the one who was hurt. The healing will come faster, though, if you look forward instead of backward.
If you can overcome the pain of infidelity, it will likely make yours a strong and secure relationship. I hope the steps I’ve presented here can help. No matter how hard we try, we all make mistakes. More important, though, is learning and growing from the bad experiences we go through.
Get a Guy Back 
Leave a comment